The Scars of Trauma: How Our Experiences Affect Us and How We Heal?
Life can sometimes confront us with experiences that catch us off guard, shake our sense of security, and challenge our coping abilities. A loss, accident, illness, natural disaster, violence, neglect, or prolonged intense stress can profoundly affect a person's perspective on the world, other people, and themselves.
Psychological trauma can be defined as the effects left on the mind, body, and emotional world by experiences that threaten a person's physical or psychological integrity or exceed their coping capacity. Therefore, trauma is not only about "what we experience," but also about how those experiences are reflected in our inner world.
Does trauma affect everyone the same way?
Two people experiencing the same event may react very differently. One person may process the effects of the experience over time and move on with their daily life, while another may experience intense anxiety, fear, guilt, or insecurity for a long time. This difference does not indicate that one person is stronger or weaker than the other.
How trauma affects a person depends on many factors, including their past life experiences, childhood, personality traits, coping skills, social support resources, and how safe they feel after the event.
How does trauma affect our minds and bodies?
Trauma doesn't just occur in our thoughts; it directly affects the chemistry of our brain, our bodies, and our relationships. Its effects are generally seen in four main categories:
Mental and Psychological Effects
- Constant Alertness (Overstimulation): The world no longer feels safe. You live with the feeling that something bad could happen at any moment.
- Flashback: The event may suddenly and vividly return to your mind, as if it were happening again right now.
- Avoidance: There is a tendency to persistently stay away from places, people, or topics that remind one of the trauma.
- Emotional Blunting: It becomes difficult to feel joy, love, or excitement; the mind, in order to protect itself, essentially "silences" the emotions.
Physical Effects
As trauma specialist Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk says: "The body keeps a record."
- Unexplained chronic muscle pain, back and neck stiffness.
- Sleep disorders, nightmares
- Digestive system problems (nausea, IBS, etc.)
- Heart palpitations and sudden shortness of breath
Social Impacts
- A deep distrust of people and the world.
- The desire for isolation and solitude.
- Or, conversely, excessive dependency and clinginess in relationships.
How can we cope with trauma?
Overcoming trauma doesn't mean completely forgetting the event. Coping means preventing that event from controlling your life and decisions today.
Here are some steps that can help you on your recovery journey:
1. Accept what you're experiencing and your feelings.
The first step is to acknowledge that your reactions are "normal reactions to an abnormal event." Stop blaming yourself or saying, "I should have forgotten about this long ago." Kindly respect your own time.
2. Return to Your Body (Grounding Techniques)
Trauma keeps the mind stuck in the past and the body in danger. Practice grounding exercises to bring yourself back to the present moment.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 sounds you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste in your surroundings.
- Give your nervous system the message "I am safe right now" through deep and slow breathing exercises.
3. Avoid Isolation
While isolating yourself may feel safe at first, it makes healing more difficult in the long run. Stay in touch with a friend, family member, or support group who have gone through similar experiences and will listen without judgment.
4. Create routines.
Trauma takes away your sense of control. Small daily routines (waking up at the same time every morning, going for a walk, drinking tea) remind your mind that you are back in control.
5. Get Professional Support
Trauma leaves a deep psychological wound, and sometimes we can't heal it on our own. Seeking help from a professional can speed up and make the healing process safer.
- EMDR Therapy and HYT: A very effective method for reprocessing traumatic memories.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (BDT): Helps transform negative thought patterns related to trauma.
A quick reminder: Healing isn't a linear process. Some days you'll feel great, and other days you'll feel like you're back to square one. That's perfectly normal. Be patient; scars may remain, but they don't have to hurt
Psychologist Sevgi DOĞAN
